Tuesday, January 15, 2008

A lil bit of semen for everyone

A lil bit of semen for everyone.

“Word up!”

If you really think about it, or actually, you do not have to think about it, but we all come from semen. (No pun intended there) As a man, I feel proud knowing that I shoot life. I call it, “The juice of life”.

“The juice of life”, now that is what I call it. I like the sound of that. If Michael Jackson gets to call his “Jesus Juice”, then “Juice of Life” will be mine.

As you see, most women are always going on about “the egg” life can’t be possible without “the egg”. Nevertheless, I ask you all, what do you call an unfertilized egg? No answer huh?

It figures.

I do not even know what an unfertilized egg is called. However, I do know that when a woman’s egg goes “unfertilized” it creates a big mess. In addition, it causes them discomfort with slight aggravation. Ah well, that is life.

Now I will admit that man needs woman just as much as she needs him to create life. I am not here trying to trivialize a women’s position in life. I am only trying to establish man’s spot in life. As it goes one cannot go on without the other. Life would have never come into being without each other.

For example, you cannot have a tree without a seed. Therefore, man shall be known as “the seed bearer” and women are more or less “the dirt” that the seed is planted in. Now I know that might piss off a few women out there, but that is the facts and that was only a metaphor I chose to use for this discussion. Now I might have used a bad one, but for the sake of humor, I will stick with that one. Ah well. Life goes on.

Now you all are probably wondering where “James” came up with this? Well I will tell you. It all stemmed from a conversation I had the other day with this girl where she was going on and on, on how women create life. Well I had to set her straight. She is nothing without a man. In addition, we are nothing without them, we need each other, Moreover, I will admit, we are nothing without them. However, you do not see us calling ourselves life bearers or bringers of life. I just got sick of her saying it repeatedly,
“We bear life” “we bear life”.
Well enough was enough. I jumped up and yelled, “In reality, you do not bear life, you incubate life”.
We as men shooting our “juice of life” actually help bear the life, women are merely the incubators”.

Oh man did that start a discussion. So me trying to lighten the mood, asked one of my boys that was there if they wanted some semen to help with his dry skin. She of course said a big “Ewwwwwwwwwwwww”. That is when I started on my semen kick. I said “Being that we are made from semen, then a little bit of semen on the skin wont hurt” and of course he laughed but she had to put her two cents in. and this is where it got us.

Therefore, to end this discussion before I am lynched, I will leave you all with this thought. We are all nothing but big globs of semen walking around. Now that is a messed up thought for the day.

Till next time….

Copyright © 2008. James Velez

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

you mention women as being the dirt well thats usually how we are treated by men like dirt oh and fertilizer (shit)
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