Showing posts with label daily news. Show all posts
Showing posts with label daily news. Show all posts

Thursday, December 8, 2011

once in a blue moon


Ask anyone and they’ll tell you,

“James is one that is never lost for words”

But every blue moon I am, and this was one funny ass blue moon.

This is the most recent event in my life that left me speechless; I mean I had no words at all. The only thing I could do was laugh. You see I like to get reactions out of people, say crazy shit and see how they react to it; some is good, some is bad, and sometimes it hilarious.

I tend to just spew some off the wall sexual banter at my boys once in awhile just for laughs and also because sometimes, I just love to see their reactions to some of the shit I say.

Well on this day I decided to mess with my friend Paul by texting him this:

Me: yo last night was my first wet dream in a long time that didn’t involve you.

And this was his reply that left me lost for words:

Paul: that’s what you think. In my dream I was watching you from the window.

I was lost for words; all I could do was laugh. This was all I could type back to him in my midst of laughter:

Me: I got no comment.

Till next time….


Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Hurt!

7:27 pm, a lil over half an hour before I’m out of here. I get to go home, chill out watch “Heroes” aight, cant wait until 8 o clock”.
“Should I play solitaire until eight or should I restock our paper supply?”
“Hmmm, re-bills will be coming in tomorrow so let me get a few boxes down so my boss “Bob” will be kool with me in the morning”.

I grab the big grey ladder and walk it over to where we keep our “Z” form.
“I’ll bring down 4-5 boxes, load up the wall and that should make time fly”.
Up the ladder I go, there is like 3-4 boxes up here, let’s bring em down. I toss two boxes down and begin to climb down, but then I notice a box in the back.
“Damn, now I gotta climb out and grab this one”

I climb out the ladder and step onto the shelf. I reach over to the box and I grab the strap that is wrapped around the boxes. You see these boxes have straps around them, so picture a box with two yellow plastic straps on them. I yank the strap in an attempt to pull the box close to me, only to have the strap snap.

Now this has happened to me often. The paper companies are saving money by making thinner and cheaper straps, so these babies snap often. Its very frustrating but you get used to it. One thing though.

I have never had one snap at this height and with me a lil off balanced. I fell back, saw my left foot miss the steps on the ladder and down I went. When I landed, all I heard was a low crack sound. Sounded like the snapping of a candy bar. That bugged me out.
I laid on the ground and thought, “I should just stay on the ground till someone comes, but damn I work alone at night!”

Get up James!

I get up and notice my wrist, “Holy shit! My wrist is fucked up!” is all I can say. Seriously folks my wrist looked like an accordion, it was that messed up. I attempt to straighten it out by pulling on it and oh man, did I feel pain.
Must get to a hospital is all I am thinking.
I walk into my office, check to make sure the last job I started is still running and then I call my boss.

Me: Ummm, hi Bob
Him: Hi James, what is up?
Me: Can I go home?
Him: Why what’s wrong?
Me: I just fell off the ladder getting some stock paper and I think I broke my arm, I need to go, and I have to get to a hospital.
Him: James do not leave I am calling an ambulance
Me: Bob, I cant afford the ambulance my insurance hasn’t kicked in yet
Him: Don’t worry about that now, workers comp will handle it, it’s a work related injury. What’s important is your health right now, I’ll call you back in one minute, don’t go nowhere.
Me: Ok, thanx bob, I’ll wait for your call.

And that was my Monday night. See what I mean?
If it were not for bad luck, I would have none.
I’m sure you guys would love for me to continue the story, but at the moment I am in way too much pain to keep typing with my one good hand. I just wanted to let you all know that I am seriously hurt now.

My left wrist is totally destroyed from the fall. I have metal rods and wires attached to pins going through it now. Fucking hurts, I tell you. I’ll be sure to write again very soon and continue with the story but for now I just hope all is well for everyone.
Till next time….


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Thursday, September 11, 2008

Missed being robbed by mere minutes

Today started off well, then got crazy for a bit.
Here we go. I go do laundry in the morning at my local Laundromat. Now I have a unique way of doing my laundry, being that I hate to sit and wait I just drop it into the machine and leave.

You see I hate to sit and wait. So doing laundry only takes me an hour or so. I put it in the was for 22 minutes exactly, I leave go get a coffee come back and switch them to the dryer for 40 minutes, then drive home and chill for the time.

Well today I did just that, but when I put my clothes in the dryer and left, two minutes later the place was held up at gunpoint.

I came back to get my clothes 40 minutes later to find it swamped with cops. I get informed of what transpired then questioned as to who I am and what I am doing here. After a lil show and tell with the cops I head home buggin a bit.

I missed being robbed my mere minutes. Wow is today my lucky day or what?
Till next time….