Theme song for my nuts

Hello all, for a quick laugh keep reading. I was on “Yahoo” instant messenger with my friend “Ann” the other day. She was telling me how she wants to bring her boyfriend to NY and do the tourist thing. I told her bring him up to NY and show him all the sights, but he needs to come to NY number one tourist attraction. My nuts!

That is when she got mad, and told me I was gross.

I say to her, “Ann relax, my nuts are a huge tourist attraction. People come from all over to see them. They take pictures of them, they sniff em, they even bring their own Q-tip swabs to swab em and go home with some “Ball sweat”

This was her reply,

“Ewwwwwwwwwwwww, you are so freakin gross James, I am going to sign off now, thank you for making me sick”

“No ann. relax, seriously it’s a huge tourist attraction, I even have my own theme song”

She quickly signed off, so what did “James” do. I called her, just to sing my song. Its based on the “Juicy Fruit” theme song, being that the song seems dirty as is, I changed it up and it seemed to fit.

Here it is folks, enjoy.

Take a sniff
Pull it out
The taste is gonna move ya
Once you pop it in your mouth
James nuts
Are gonna move ya
Taste like salt
And goes right through ya
James nuts
The taste the taste the taste
Is gonna move ya

Till next time....

Farewell to the mole

Last night, my heart dropped. I mean dropped hard. I felt like crying. Let me tell you all why.

As most of you know my boy, "Paul" was a contestant on "The Mole" an A.B.C. reality based game show. I do not watch those shows, but my man was on it and I had to show my support.

Well I was caught up in it, I found myself a fan of the show, well more of a fan of his. You see, he made the show interesting. He gave it that special something that those types of shows lack. I call it "Realism". He was himself the whole time, a pure and utter dick. I loved it, he gave them all a little taste of our world. In addition, it came through loud and clear on the television screen. I know I am not the only one to feel this way about it.

Ok, I know I am rambling, sorry, on with last night. So I am at my computer playing a game, not really paying attention to the show at the moment because I honestly thought that "Paul" was going to win, or that he was the mole, so I sorta zoned out towards the end of the show, the part when they take the exam and eliminate somebody. I thought it was a given that he would survive to see another day.

Nope! Not this time, all I hear is,

"Paul, you have been eliminated"

Oh no, my heart dropped. I felt like crying, my pal is not the mole, nor is he the winning contestant. Damn, life is not fair. I called him immediately to see how he is doing and to see if what I just watched was correct.

Yep, he verified it for me, I told him I feel like crying, and he said he did also, but to make sure I watch the conclusion of the show to see how close he was to winning.

Huh?

Keep watching it?

Are you crazy?

I cannot stand these types of show, and now with you off, I truly have no reason to watch. However, I will, just to see who wins and who the mole is, and to find out what he was talking about. However, before I leave I will say this, Paul, after all this, I must admit, you may not be the man, but you definitely are one of the men. Thanx for the laughs, and you worded it best on your way out, you found out how important your family is, and you do have a beautiful family. "Tori and Alexa" are just gorgeous.

Therefore, I will wish you and your family all the luck. (Even if you did dump me for her, which is in the past though) You are a winner in our hearts buddy.

Till next time….

A star is born

Tonight if you watched "The Mole", you witness the birth of a superstar. Paul Grassi is that next star. When they showed his family on the now infamous "Train scene" that was just the beginning of his birth to stardom. When his cute lil girl did her finger flip for the door to open and the door opened, "America's" heart swelled. Then you see the look on his face when the door opened.

Whoa! Right there, a star was born.

Not only is he a good looking young man, but his wife is stunningly beautiful and that little girl of his was just beyond words.
Right now at this moment, his stock is at an all time high. Paul, cheers to you. Moreover, double cheers to you and that beautiful family of yours. Good luck to you on the show, and may luck follow you after.
Just remember to sprinkle some "Gees" on me.

Till next time....

Who is the sick one. him or her?

Ok, here we go once again with more questions from “Jimmy Vee”. You know you love em, don’t lie.

Well today’s question is simple. A man is sitting at a red light in his car, waiting for the light to turn, but while he is waiting, he decides to pick his nose. Now he is picking it the entire time, with no remorse mind you, just picking. Ok, now my friend is sitting at the same light across from him grossed out. However, she continues to look. She then sends me a text message detailing this, calling the man gross.

Now you all know me, I respond to her text by calling her gross for watching. She replies with “it’s like watching a car crash”. In other words, she could not turn away. Therefore, I say to her, you are a sicko. He is assuming that he is not being watched and he is in the privacy of his car, so he decides to pick his nose. No, harm no foul, but you looked, noticed he was picking, and then you continued to look. So who is the sick one then?

Him for picking or her for watching?

Till next time...