Christmas wish. What do we all want for Christmas? This is normally an odd question for me to answer; you see I haven’t written a wish list to Santa in close to 25 years or so, so you see I’m not sure as in what I would ask for, or if there is anything out there that I want? I have gone so long without that I don’t know how to request anything for this holiday. Yeah sure we all want something; I just don’t know what to ask for.
Yeah I would like to start working on building a family with the right lady, but that isn’t something Santa could put under the tree, or is it? I would like for most of the indecision in me to be taken away, but again, that isn’t something that can be put in a box, or can it? Yes there is that toy I wanted as a kid that never got, but seriously, what would I do with a toy right now?
So what I am asking simply is this, if you all had one gift to ask for, what would it be? Now don’t give me that “World Peace” nonsense, give me what you would like to see under your tree on Christmas morning. Maybe that would give me an idea as to what I’m looking for in a gift. For now, I am simply asking for all of my loved ones and yes, even my hated ones, to have a great holiday, this is the one time of the year that I want all to be smiling, and it’s that simple.
Hey you never know who will be reading this nonsense, it just might be your Santa, so let me know what you would like for this upcoming holiday. I hope you all get what you’re asking for and that your able to make someone else in this world smile, even if its only for one day.
I have noticed this trend going on for years and I have helped those that would listen and actually put into effect what I have showed them. So some of you could stop doing this idiotic mistake I will post it here.
A few guys that I have known and some girls that I have dated have done this mistake. Now it’s not their fault, I blame the parents for this mistake. But you cannot rub a bar of soap on your body, flake up and then turn on the water and rinse yourself off.
This is wrong people. You must combine the soap with the water. It’s that simple. Use them cohesively. Now for those that would like a demonstration please feel free to contact me and I will walk you through the process, for the rest of you, I hope this little bit of info helps and makes you a better person.
Remember, a clean body makes will be appreciated by all.
Why me? Is what she thought. Damn shit is not funny, is what was running through her mind, I have seriously got the worst fucking luck. Damn!
Just the other day things were looking up for her; she had put her car on “Craigslist” for sale and was content with what was going on in her life. She came to me and told me bout her ad, and asked if I could help out,
“Sure” I told her, “Just let me look at the ad”.
I looked at the ad and noticed that it wasn’t posted in “New York”,
“Now that’s your problem right there, the ad is posted in “New Jersey” north jersey of all places, no one looks there, place your ad in “New York” and watch how you’ll get replies within the day”.
Well she went and placed the ad in “New York” like I told her, and would you know, within the hour she had a reply. She called me ecstatic saying the guy would be there in a little bit to checkout the car, I was happy for her also, no need for a lady with a one year old to have a second car just sitting there in her driveway,
“Make that money” is what I told her.
Lo and behold my phone rings by 6 o clock that day; it was her in a frantic tone.
“James, this guy was nuts” “Huh, please explain, and calm down, tell me what happened”
She takes a deep breath and proceeds to fill me in on what occurred.
“Well this guy came by, looked at the car and said that it looked great, then asked if it would be ok if he can start it up, sure I told him as I handed him the keys. He pulls out over 12 hundred bucks in cash and says if it starts up, he’ll take it”
“Ok, what happened then, it sounds like it went well” is what I said.
She began to cry and say “No it didn’t go ok, this sick fuck got in my car with his money laid it on the passenger seat and reached in his pocket for a small bottle, started up the car, looked my way, smiled and proceeded to open the bottle and pour its contents all over himself and the inside of the car. I yelled hey what are you doing? He just looked at me, smiled and lit a match and put himself and the inside of the car on fire. The car went up like a straw house, and the money he brought also burnt up with him. This is some crazy shit James, why me?”
“Damn hon", was all I could muster. Then I followed up with, “You mean to tell me, that this guy came over to buy your car, showed you money, told you he would take it, got in the car to start it, and then poured gasoline all over himself and lit himself on fire in your car?”
“Yes” is what she got out in between sobs.
I started to chuckle a bit at this story because this shit is crazy. What the fuck would posses a man to light himself on fire in a car he intended to buy, with the money at his side? That is the craziest shit I’ve heard in awhile. Damn some people got no consideration for others.
Well she got stuck with a burnt car, a burnt person in it, and 12 hundred dollars burnt up also. So she has no car or money now and got a traumatic experience on top of it. Some people just have really fucked up days, remember this story the next time you think your having a bad day.
Hope you enjoyed this fictitious tale, till next time….
I know I haven’t been around. Since I broke my wrist, I find reasons why I can’t see you. I come up with ideas, Think of ways to say hello to you. I always seem to forget. Seems as of late, You’ve been trying to get my attention. Don’t know why? But I choose to ignore you. Now you’re yelling, Screaming so loud, I can no longer deny you. Well, here I am. How are you? It’s has been awhile.
One would think that a place called “The Raping Pit” would think that it’s a bad place? Am I wrong for assuming this? Can anyone out there tell me that a place called “The Raping Pit” would be a good place to go for a night?
Seriously, when you go down the basement and look under the staircase, all you see is a large hole, and in that hole is nothing but darkness, with a glimmer of an arm or teeth, sometimes even a buttock. But that’s all you see when you look down into “The Raping Pit”.
Now what makes me say this is one day this guy sot loud with me in my basement, so I punched him in the face, put my foot up his ass and threw him down the hole. Now s far as I can tell he never got out of there, don’t know why he never left but he chose to stay down there. Some people are a bit odd I tell ya.
Well for the next few months anybody that upset me and I wanted to get rid of, I would throw down the hole. Now I would hear some crazy shit down there, most of it I can’t repeat, but I sorta knew what was going on down there. That’s how I came up with the name.
But it seems to me that anyone I throw down there would just stay down there and join the growing crew. Pretty soon they were demanding people and food. One of them even had the balls to write me a note asking for cable. I told em to go fuck themselves and threw a midget down there.
So would you like to be thrown down into “The Raping Pit”!
Bohemian: A person with artistic or literary interests who disregards conventional standards of behavior.
Bohemian
Some say “James you need to be saved” Following your bullshit Will that teach me to behave? Trained since birth to view the world just like you Not my fault I question, I read, and now I see things From a different point of view ‘Cause I question Some say I’m bold Can’t just sit there and believe all that’s been told Most of what that has been written A lot of it lies Finding out the truth I see With open eyes I don’t need a daily reminder Or a weekly affirmation To love those around me And all of creation
OK, my head is still spinning but it has slowed down a bit. Slowed down long enough for me to write down a few things that have transpired in my life recently and I would like to share it with you all...
Here we go,
As of yesterday “June 29th 2010” my life has changed drastically. Not in a bad way this time. For once in my life I am smiling, I mean a big cheese grin is plastered across my face. I feel as if that proverbial chip that has been on my shoulder has finally fallen off.
As most of readers know I just recently found out who my real father is. For my entire life the man whom I thought was my dad, whom I am named after, turned out not to be my dad. Now that came as a big shock to me, for it turned out, that the man that has been calling me “Son” and telling me “You know I am your real father” and my reply to that was “Ok, if you say so” and I would think to myself, my father is the man who signed my birth certificate end of story and that would be that was actually telling me the truth. All this time, the one lying to me was my mother. She has her reasons, some I agree with some I don’t, but I understand. She did the best that she could do for her children. I know it is not easy being 14 and having a child.
I don’t understand her reasoning behind not telling me when my sister father died, (him being the man whom I thought was my father) or telling me when I turned 21, or even 30. There were plenty of chances to come out with the truth, but she didn’t. I don’t quite understand, but I can try to. I see that she did this to protect me, to keep me from the life she was raised in. she didn’t want her son being around gangs and drugs. She wanted a better life for her children. In a way I see that she protected me. Overprotected but nonetheless protected me.
I love you mom A.K.A. “Brunie”
I was hurt for being lied to all my life, hurt from being denied the truth. If anyone deserved the truth I felt it should have been me. But noooooooooooo, not in my world. It felt odd knowing that my father was still alive; it bothered me that I find this out this information in my 30s. So many years have passed. I am 33 years old, and I am now finding out who my father is. Damn life throws crazy things at you at times.
Well I was looking forward to meeting this man in august. I was getting myself ready for the big meeting; I mean one of the biggest meetings in my life was going to happen in august. I was going to be face to face with my dad, my father. But no, “August” couldn’t wait. I get woken up on Tuesday with a text from my mom telling me that my father is and he would like to see me today after work and here is his number. Well my head was spinning.
“Is this for real” I said out loud. Then I called my mom immediately.
“Your father is out early and I just got off the phone with him, he said he really wants to see you today.”
“Huh! Oh ok, I’ll call him right now.”
I hung up and called the number she gave me, this is how it went.
“Hello”
“Hi um is this tiger” I said.
“Is this my son!” was his reply.
I replied meekly with a “Yeah uh it is”
“Hold on a second, there is someone that wants to talk to you” was his reply. I hear him passing the phone and the next thing I hear is,
“Hi Anthony, my name is “Hector” I’m your little brother”
My world spun, I was hit hard by this child’s voice, and all I said was,
“I’ll be there in 5 minutes” and I hung up.
I got dressed, got in my car and flew to the Bronx. I knew exactly where they were, it’s my old neighborhood.
I got there parked and walked right up to the office, walked in and immediately saw him. I saw a man that looked like an older version of me. We locked eyes and he asked who I was looking for? I pointed at him and said “I think you”. He smiled and came right out, arms open ready for a hug. And you know what? I hugged him.
For the first time in my life, I was holding my dad, and he was holding me. It felt so good to be held by my father, to actually hold the man that helped create me. We look like twins; he is an older version of yours truly. I am actually seeing what I have to look forward to as I get older. I see my nose in his face, my forehead; he even has the same ears. And to top it all off, his ass is just as flat as mine.
So we go outside and he introduces me to my little brother. Holy shit, I now have a little brother. I have a diesel little brother, he looks like a younger more muscular version of me, and it is bugging me out. I hugged my little brother for the first time in my life, it felt good. My dad comes over and tells me that my other brothers will be by around 5ish, I say ok kool, and I hang out for a bit and then head home.
As I’m driving home I call my mom up bugging. I tell her how kool everything went, I tell her I got brothers, and I mentioned that I’m going back around 5 and asked if she would like to come. She said nah because she didn’t feel up to it. “Ah well think about it” I told her and hung up. I went home, jumped in bed and stared at my ceiling. I tell one of my roommates what I am going through at the moment, then my other roommate called me ad asks if I can pick him up from the train. The rest is a blur to me until I get a text from my mom saying that she changed her mind and would come down to the Bronx with me to see my dad.
Well the ride down was real kool; we talked and listened to some “Thirsty Pirates”. It was a bit tense bit overall kool. We get to the block and I tell you it felt odd walking on my old streets with my mom once again, and not only that, but walking towards my father. Now that felt weird.
We approach, an old friend of my moms comes out of nowhere and starts chatting her up, my dad walks up to me and we hug. I go up to my little brother and give him a hug. That when my pops introduce me to my older brother “Willie”. I stick my hand out to shake his and my pops grabs me and says “What I tell you bout shaking hands with your family?” “Give your brother a hug!” we hugged the way brothers hug. It felt good hugging another brother of mine. My dad walks up to us and points behind me, I turn around and I see my twin.
“Meet your brother “J.C.” “He says, and we just hugged. I am hugging my brothers for the first time. My little brothers begin to tell me how they all seen pictures of me, how my pops used to always talk about “Anthony” we’ve been dying to meet you”. I’m bugging, “You guys all knew about me and I had no clue about you guys.” Damn my head was spinning, here I am with my brothers for the first time, these guys are showing honest to goodness love, I feel such an instant connection with all of them. Their embracing me and wanting me to join the family I have been denied for so long. I no longer feel like the outsider of the family I now have brothers, damn that sounds good. I have a big brother and two younger brothers. My father tells me I have two sisters, one of them passed away some time ago and that I’ll soon meet the other...
I now have my father and my brothers in my life now. I got a whole new family to meet. I just can’t wait for them to meet my sisters, oh man, that picture is gonna kick ass! For now here is the very first picture of my father with all of his sons.
Ok, it has been awhile since I have written a blog based on my thoughts. Well here we go.
My current “Pet Peeve” is this recent hair fashion for a man that has taken over the whole planet it seems.
All of a sudden its kool to sport a pseudo “Mohawk” called a “Faux Hawk”.
Now this pisses me off because all of a sudden its kool to sport a “Mohawk”, and what pisses me off the most is that most of the guys sporting these lil bitch hair styles are the same people that uses to laugh, poke fun, or even go as far as beat up anyone that sported a “Mohawk”.
I find it sad that most of these men are so lost in life that they’re willing to sport anything that is forced down their throats and told its kool. So a few rappers and some lame ass reality stars sported it, so now you have to run out and get the same hair style?
Give me a freakin break and stay the person you are.
Don’t imitate what’s out there or just feed the machine. Seriously it says a lot of a man that stands on his own two feet and has in own image and stands apart from the crowd. It seems as if everywhere I go I see men sporting their little fake Mohawks.
It’s fucking sad. You look sad, like a poser in fact, because if it wasn’t kool to have that hair style you wouldn’t be wearing it, you’re nothing but a bunch of trend following fucks. This goes out to all the men out there sporting this damn hair style. Grow the fuck up and think for yourselves!
I always wondered what it would feel like to find out that my dad was still alive. I imagined it as being really kool. I mean it would rock you know, I’m 33, spent most of my life fatherless. Pretty much had to learn how to be on man by trial and error, observation. Oh man if my dad was really alive how kool would it be to talk to him? Ask him why I do certain things, see where my smile comes from. Oh man, how crazy would that be? Well it just so happens that that dream came true. Yes folks it did. On Friday my cousin, who is only 2 years younger then my mom and grew up with her was visiting, so I seized my opportunity to ask her, in front of my mom the inevitable question,
“So who really is my dad?”
Her response was a shrug and a look at my mom saying,
“I don’t wanna get involved in this again”
OK I’ll give you all a flashback to bring you all up to speed with what is going on. You see growing up I thought my dad was “James Anthony Garcia” the man whose name is on my birth certificate, the man who I am named after, the man that was around in the beginning that promised me a toy but never delivered. You see, there was always this guy that everyone used to say was my dad because I looked like him. I used to disregard all the comment, sorta laugh em off or just shrug em off, I knew who my dad was, there is no way in hell you gonna tell me who my dad is. Well this man used to come up to me smiling, calling me son and all, and I would just laugh and walk off. He even one time asked me, “Has your mom told you the truth yet?” I just looked at him with a grin and said “Nah, she is still in denial” and laugh it off. But it always stuck in my head, I always wondered because I really look like this guy, nah my mom woulda told me the truth, she has nothing to hide now were both adults. But every time I would ask, if he was my dad, or tell her that some people brought it up and it got me wondering, she would flip out and tell me
“You know who the fuck is your father? I am and your father was that piece of shit “Jimmy” ok leave it at that. Don’t listen to what any of those motherfuckers have to say”
And that would be that, well this went on for some time, and still I got the same answer every time so I let it be. Well my cousin is back and she told me to if I needed a job I can go to where she got hooked up. Just so happens this place is seriously connected to my past. Well everyone there is calling me this mans son, I’m smiling thinking to myself, fuck it, if it helps me get somewhere being his son damn I’m his son, no biggie. But I wondered, so I brought the subject up again to my mom, I let her know that if he is my dad its only fair that I know the truth, I should know where I come from. But alas I got the same response.
Well on Friday with my cousin there to call her out I asked the question again, this time I got a different answer, she looked at my cousin then at me and said,
“He is your father, I got pregnant by him, didn’t know I was pregnant started dating your father and you came along, I was young, scared, and confused I didn’t know what to do”
My reply was,
“You mean, all this time I asked you lied? You could have told me the truth a long time ago” I have so many questions, and you denied me that. I’m named after the wrong man”
Well no need for me to get into the rest I just wanted to share with you guys that I have a dad. I am not a fatherless bastard, a bastard child yes, but a fatherless one, no.
Yet I don’t know how I feel about that. Till next time….
Okie dokie, I know I have been gone for awhile, breaking a wrist can do that to ya, and on top of that I got hit with writers block big time. Well last night I came up with another “Scenario” to add to my collection of “Scenarios”.
I am still searching for a publisher for the book but until then I will keep testing em out on my “Blog” fans. Hope you all like this one, and give some feedback as to what you would do? I am still working on what to call this one, so any suggestions would be appreciated. Hope all is well
Till next time….
Scenario #59
“You’re on your way to meet your “Significant other” for an “After Work” drink.
Just as you get to the door of the bar you receive a text message on your phone.
It’s him/her letting you that they can’t meet you, that there stuck at work for the night.
As you read this you say to your self, “I’m here might as well get a drink”,
As you enter the bar you see him/her having drinks with another person.”
Ok here is another bout with pain “J.V.” style. last week I was feeling stiffness and pain in my wrist, it was really bothering me, well my sister found out about it and her being a nurse and all she told me to wrap it up, well I did. Having it wrapped felt good, it didn’t bother me as much, I still felt stiff and I would get twinges of pain, but more bearable. Well on the second night I fell asleep with my hand wrapped, Big Mistake. I woke up with a cartoon hand, I mean my hand was so swollen it looked like “Mickey Mouse’s” hand, I was in severe pain.
I called my doctor and tried to see him, I was told he would be out till Tuesday Damn till Tuesday. They told me if it really hurts to go to the emergency room. I, I got off the phone and just went to bed, screw it! I got a few Percocet’s left; I can make it through the day.
Well that night I’m hanging with my mom and roommate and we get to talking about my condition, it ends up as if I am suffering from a heart attack. You see pain in your left arm, stiffness in two fingers, I mean shooting pain up your entire arm, and I felt as if I was having one for real. I was about to go to the emergency room that night, but I thought otherwise, I popped a pill and passed out.
I woke up the next morning in excruciating pain. I said to hell with it and went to the emergency room. After getting x-rayed and then told that they cant do nothing for me except prescribe pain killers, I got on the phone with my doctor office and put the emergency room doctor on the phone with them. I got an emergency meeting with him for Tuesday morning. Ok I gotta make it through these next 4 days. Here we go.
Well I make it through the 4 days and now I’m off to see my doctor. I get there and we go into the office, he looks at the x-ray and say’s “oh I see, it looks as if this pin came out of place and is stabbing your nerve, lets see if I can remove it without going into surgery”. They lay me on a table, shot my arm up and then he cuts a hole in my wrist and attempts to pull out the wire with a pair of pliers I think. All I know is that it hurt, it hurt more then anything I have felt, it made my fingers curl up. The doc looks at me and say’s “Let’s try another shot to see if we can numb you and get this sucker out”. Well the second shot did nothing; I still felt pain immense pain. I yell at him to knock me out; he yells at me “I can’t knock you out ok! I am trying to avoid surgery; if you cannot take the pain then we will have to do surgery!” I say “Ok, let’s try it again”, oh man the pain I felt. Call me what you want, but I couldn’t bear the pain, let’s do surgery.
And that is how my Tuesday ended up. So not kool. So not kool. Having surgery was not on my todo list for the day. Here is a pic of the hole the doc put in my wrist to pull out the wires.
Scars. What is a scar? Well according to the dictionary a scar is: a mark left (usually on the skin) by the healing of injured tissue.
Nice definition makes sense and totally tells you what a scar is, but for me, that’s not the true meaning of a scar. For me a scar on your body means you have lived. That scar is proof that at one point in your life you were alive, you felt pain, and you went through something, some experience that will be a story for a long time or something that will make you chuckle, or just make you think. Think on what gave it to you or how you got it.
Think about it, a scar to me is a sign that a person has lived. Yes some scars are hard to look at based on where there at or how big they are, but when that individual got that scar, for that moment they were truly alive, they were feeling the pain of life, knowing that the pain they feel means there alive.
Look at tattoos for a second, these are nothing but colorful scars and think about it, people that get them love to feel the pain associated with it. Why you ask? Because at the moment, the tattoo is being put on they are alive feeling the burning stinging sensation that comes along with it. Think about this theory of mine.
Scars are a way to show that you have truly experienced life, it’s a sign that you are alive and this scar shows that you went through an ordeal of some sort in life. Your body has the mark to prove it.
