once in a blue moon

Ask anyone and they’ll tell you,

“James is one that is never lost for words”

But every blue moon I am, and this was one funny ass blue moon.

This is the most recent event in my life that left me speechless; I mean I had no words at all. The only thing I could do was laugh. You see I like to get reactions out of people, say crazy shit and see how they react to it; some is good, some is bad, and sometimes it hilarious.

I tend to just spew some off the wall sexual banter at my boys once in awhile just for laughs and also because sometimes, I just love to see their reactions to some of the shit I say.

Well on this day I decided to mess with my friend Paul by texting him this:

Me: yo last night was my first wet dream in a long time that didn’t involve you.

And this was his reply that left me lost for words:

Paul: that’s what you think. In my dream I was watching you from the window.

I was lost for words; all I could do was laugh. This was all I could type back to him in my midst of laughter:

Me: I got no comment.

Till next time….

tired

I have lost track of all time,

So bored out of my fucking mind,

Something has got to give

For this is not the way one should live

Toiling away trying to earn,

Just a lil bit,

Enough to just burn,

Food under lock and key,

Forcing me to work,

Forcing me to just be,

Tired of making a living,

Instead of making a life,

is that semen on you? my latest scenario.

Lets say you and your significant other had an early morning quickie, well on your way to work in the morning your on the bus and you hear people chattering behind you, you turn around only to have an elderly lady ask you this question,

“ah excuse me, but is that semen on your shirt?”

•

what do you say?

thinking out loud once again

Hello reader, been awhile since I’ve written to you all, well here I am, returning to the world of writing out my thoughts to share with you all.

Well last night I went to bed thinking and imagining how far advanced would we be as a civilization if we had the same beliefs, as in agreeing in our view of a higher power. I am going to show you the image that sparked this thought, I would like for you guys to look at it and let me know what thoughts it sparked in you.

This is what it sparked in my mind.


Imagine a world with a universal religion so to speak, as if we were all spiritual and realized that the differences in our beliefs is what would holds us back as a civilization. We woulda had flying cars by the 40s, disease would not be an issue and most of them woulda been cured by now, and some would not have even been invented.

Just imagine no dark ages, no burning of so-called witches, no lynch mobs going around killing in the name of their god and beliefs. No wasting time fighting over whats right and wrong according to a system of beliefs. Well I can go on and on but I would like to know what you guys think. Let me know,

Till next time….

part of my opening from my book.

It is true what they say; you do see your whole life flash right before your eyes in that last moment of life. Only it does not just flash, it is sort of like reliving your whole life, but this time having no control over it. You are aware of all the outcomes but still repeat the same mistakes. You also have the capabilities to slow down some parts of your life. You can bask in the glow of winning the big game, (if you played in a big game) or cry over losing a loved one and realizing just how important and precious life really is, (we all have to go through this). Let’s just say that a lot of things run through your mind at this moment.

Well I would like to share this flash, with you; just to give you an inside look at the inner workings of my mind.

Why you ask?

Because I want to, I love to share my insights on life with anyone that is willing to listen to or read anything that I have written. In addition, I think I am a pretty-good storyteller.

Is that a good enough reason? I would like to think so.

This might not make sense to you at times, but bear with it, eventually all roads lead home, and what I am about to share will eventually makes sense. This is a story of a boy, who became a man that ends up living not as he wants, but as he can.

We begin in the year 1976…

Why is shitting such a “Taboo”?

Why is shitting such a “Taboo”? As in no one talks about it freely or we all seem to walk out of the bathroom with a little bit of shame on our faces when we do it.

Why is that?

I mean defecating, passing a bowel, digesting, or just plain shitting, is something that we all do. I mean every human shits. Its one of the few things we all do. So why don’t we discuss it more freely, or do it on a first date at your dates house, or your own house for that matter when we have company. I for one rarely shit in front of a girl I just met, whether it is at my house or hers. Why is that? I’m definitely sure that every human being shits, yet most of us don’t bring the subject until we feel comfortable with that person.

I mean we all say we gotta go pee, or take a shower, but no one says “Hey I’m gonna go take a quick dump” and as we leave the bathroom we all leave looking a tad bit guilty. I mean if we tell people freely that were going to shower, then why not that? I mean just switch the words up and it sounds so much better, tell them, “hey I’m gonna go cleanse my belly”.

If you think about it you are technically cleaning your stomach out so a stomach shower would fit in this sense. So for those that are still shy when it comes to this little human part of us, use the phrase “belly cleanser” or “stomach cleansing” whatever floats your boat, in all just take your shit with pride folks, there should be no stigma attached to defecating, seriously. The next time you take a dump around coworkers or friends leave the bathroom with pride, for you have cleansed your stomach out of all the bad stuff. Feel good about it folks, for we all do it.

Till next time…